Made up movies - The Golden Colander with Mackenzie Crook ( a TV show )

Okay so this one’s a TV show - a comedy/drama. Mackenzie Crook stars as Stuart Colander, a spiritual but downtrodden 30 something who makes a living by looking after his disabled chain smoking coke-addled aunt played by Kathy Burke and working in a children’s play centre. He’s troubled by what he thinks might be an STI caught from a tinder match and eventually goes to the doctors after the stinging of his piss becomes unbearable. After waiting a few days and being prescribed painkillers that stop the pain, he visits his doctor again, only to find out the only thing wrong with him is that he’s pissing gold - small amounts of gold dust is somehow forming in his bladder.

He soon monetises this and works out a system whereby he drinks as much water as humanly healthy while creating a special toilet sieve. He regularly sells the gold dust at a local pawn shop - they don’t pay that much but he’s desperate for the money to pay off a large Wonga loan - Kathy Burke owes a lot of money to coke dealer Stephen Graham. The pawnshop owner - Omid Djalili - becomes suspicious and asks his private detective friend played by Ray Winstone to spy on him to see where he’s getting the gold.

The detective finds out what’s going on and offers to be his manager - he’s a well-connected mob associate and can help him move his gold in a more profitable way. His spending becomes more elaborate is noticed by his aunt’s social services care worker (Anjela Nedyalkova) who mentions to a colleague at the council how much money he has. With the help of Ray (Winstone) he has to arrange a front - selling his terrible modern art pieces online - as his lifestyle becomes more luxurious. A cat and mouse game unfolds as he’s under investigation by a brilliant young tax auditor played by Jamie Bell, and trying to keep suspicious gangsters at bay for fear of becoming a gold piss slave. 10 half hour episodes - BBC; 09:30 Wednesday nights.